"The book in your mind hasn't come to an end There's always a page that hasn't been read..." -Jacob Lee, Ghost
The book in our mind refers to our thoughts. Our consciousness. Our thoughts rummaging through every question you don't want to answer. The song seems to dedicate to those who go unnoticed. To books that are left unread when it's been waiting, its pages clearly open. The thoughts in my head echo when someone doesn't save me from finding solitude as I amble in the safest corners of the hallways. I stand out and I'm proud of it yet... yet why does no one seem interested in reading me? Chapters in my mind don't end; it just stops moving and, when I'm ready, the page begins to flip. A ghost wandering the hallways, everything in my vision so gray that there's no hint of color on any face or object or truth in anyone's kindest complements. Especially the most flattering. In my head, you will see that I'm drastically different than what I usually appear to you. Being alone so much killed me. Yes, it's true. I'm not lying nor am I faking. I'm disoriented in the dark that engulfs me, forces me to stay. I have hope--- I do. But when I discover things I never wanted to discover in the first place, I have to bear that weight. Conquer it as the truth stands in front of me. Despite all of this and my unfunny childhood, I'm still not impervious to any new pain. Day by day I feel myself drifting away. The loneliness is slowly eating me. If I chanced a glance at those stars I'd end up crying. It's the way they winked at me, smiling as if everything will get better--- like my friends have told me so.
My world is beginning to hang askew. I don't know what to do. Everything just seems blue. But I keep trying... Just know I'm trying...
***I'm doing a book recommendation after this BTW***